Uchu L

Memories that are still painful, no matter how many times I face them

The book I’m translating right now

has a part where I talk about my past experiences,

and even when I was writing the Korean version,

it was a part where I became emotionally overwhelmed

and had to stop many times.

Sometimes, the tears suddenly pour out,

and after writing just one line,

it becomes too much to handle,

and I end up lying down for six hours.

I write,

revise it over and over,

translate it,

and revise it again…

I thought that if I repeated this enough times,

I would get used to it.

But,

even now, in the middle of translating,

my breathing becomes tight again,

and the tears rise up,

so I stop working for a while.

Once I finish translating the Korean original

into Japanese and English,

I’m planning to make it public,

but I find myself wondering

how many more times I’ll have to face this.

My past is

“me,”

so I have to be the one

to hold it with warmth.

But,

it’s hard.

There's nowhere for my heart to rest,

and I have no choice but to endure it alone.

I think

I should rest a little.